I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think my mom watched the whole time
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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