hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize