sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
