So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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