When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
