Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize