My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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