Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dont even know how to be here
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
