So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
