She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
