Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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