Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i love accidental penises.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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