Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
