put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
