i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
