i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
