I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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