Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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