well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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