I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
