Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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