Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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