..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
