operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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