Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sext me about skeletons
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
