Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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