Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
