ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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