ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
