and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
