i think i have herpe
just one?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
