So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
