You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
