Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
