Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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