you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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