I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
