id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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