Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize