Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
