Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
