I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
