Soap is not a condiment
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
