i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's never too late to be topless.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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