I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
