Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i now understand why vodka
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
