Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
