So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You need Xanax blowdarts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
