You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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