Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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