Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All the doctor said was why
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
