I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
