i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
