Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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