I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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