You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
