I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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